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I had read about ripping hymens, blood, pain, it wasn't something I was looking forward to. I tried several times and whenever the penis would start to enter, the burning pain would start and I would ask to quit. I changed partners I was 15, he was 21 which turned out to work better since he had experience and was willing to help me out. I was a runaway and living on the streets. It was Thanksgiving day and we had hitchhiked a couple of hundred miles.
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So it took us quite a while to awkwardly, semi-defeatedly concede to each other that we had run out of excuses to avoid sex. On Saturday morning, when the springtime sun finally made a strong showing outside after a dreary, wet winter, I came downstairs, where my parents and maternal grandmother were gathered around breakfast, and asked, as casually as I could: But I had been hoarding dollars from my summer jobs landscaping and lifeguarding. My offer must have indicated to my mother how badly I wished for the thing I was asking.
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Yet for most of us, the first time is, well, awkward emotionally, logistically, spiritually, etc. It ended up getting out of hand with over people showing up. Since it was her first time, she bled everywhere. Feeling embarrassed, she tried to clean it up with a bottle of spray bleach she found in my bathroom.
You have to be strong. YouTube has taken the post down and the account associated with it "due to multiple third-party notifications of copyright infringement," although it has been widely reposted on the video sharing site. There are questions surrounding the authenticity of Bernardo's altruism.
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